Type of Jealousy

Jealousy is a perplexing emotion that includes feelings varying from fear of abandonment to animosity and humiliation. Anthropologists state that it is wired into us as a safety mechanism which is commonly seen in the animal world. It is this animalistic ruthlessness that can turn us into irrational, vicious creatures. If we can’t learn to tame it, it can ultimately kill our confidence, relationships and happiness. We can identify six major types of jealousy: pathological (paranoid), romantic, sexual, rational, irrational and intentional.

Pathological jealousy

is an abnormal type of jealousy that often occurs as a symptom accompanied by a number of other mental disorders, such as obsessive-compulsive disorder. It reaches its climax in romantic relationships.

A person who is pathologically jealous thinks he/she "owns" his/her partner, i.e. that he/she has the exclusive right of decision-making on their partner’s behalf and believes that such a relationship is necessary in order to preserve the love connection. Emotions of pathologically jealous people come as a result of deep insecurity, lack of love and anxious need for control and security.

Romantic jealousy

is considered to be a "usual" type of jealousy that includes a series of thoughts, feelings, and reactions caused by the actual or imagined threat to a relationship. Romantic jealousy is not about physical and sexual infidelity. It has an emotional component. It is a kind of jealousy in which a partner is jealous of emotional affection of his/her partner towards another person who is not always perceived realistically.

Sexual jealousy

is a type of jealousy, which is manifested in the suspicion of physical infidelity.

Irrational jealousy

is a kind of jealousy that is very similar to pathological jealousy. It refers to a sense of fear and anger and often results in depression. A jealous person always acts suspiciously.

Intentional jealousy

is a form of jealousy, which one of the partners can use with a specific function, for example as a specific tool against a partner or achieve some kind of benefit. Flirting, men paying attention to other women, talking about friends of opposite sex, talking about old love, etc. are only some signs of intentional jealousy. A jealous person needs to accept that jealousy is just one part of being human and that with identifying the reason behind it, you can learn something and move on. In doing so, one should use his energy to focus on himself, rather than others.

Although by definition, jealousy is viewed negatively, positive aspects of growth can arise from effectively dealing with the thoughts and feelings associated with envy. When a person has envious feelings, it is a sign that the person may lack confidence in that area and the feeling mirrors areas for growth.

So what causes jealousy? This emotion stems from unmet needs and the fear we can’t have what we desire. Insecurity within us regarding our adequacy, desirability, and worthiness as a person, a partner, an employee, etc., can often invoke jealousy. When we recognize the fear that is underlying this emotion, we can view it as an opportunity to develop and grow.

By removing the mask hiding the underlying need and looking squarely at what we desire, we can work to create whatever missing element is in our life. Sitting with the emotion, as if it were a good friend, helps to dissolve our avoidance or resistance.